By Stephen Beech via SWNS
Two out of three moms and dads feel lonely and isolated by the demands of parenthood, according to new research.
A similar number (62 percent) say they are burned out by their responsibilities as a parent.
More than a third of moms and dads (38 percent) feel they have no one to support them in their parenting role while nearly eight out of 10 (79 percent) would value a way to connect with other parents outside of work and home.
The survey of American moms and dads, conducted by The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, found 66 percent experience isolation and loneliness from the demands of parenthood.
Anne Helms, a mother of two young children in Columbus, Ohio, said: “I work from home full-time and I actually have a job where I’m on camera a lot and I’m Zoom calling people very often.
“However, you don’t get the small talk, so you don’t get the, ‘How are your children? How’s it going?’ And you don’t get a lot of genuine answers when you do ask, ‘How is it going?’
“There are some days where the most chit-chat or idle talk that I get is with my dog because I work alone.”
Parental burnout researcher Professor Kate Gawlik, of The Ohio State University College of Nursing, said: “It’s pretty obvious that there is a huge difference between a virtual meeting and being in person.
“You miss a lot of those small interactions that you’d have in the hallway. Just a lot more of that personal touch has been eliminated, and in many regards, it’s just never been infiltrated back into our society.”
Anne said: “Even the places that I do try and seek out other parents, it’s kind of like we’re lost in the shuffle because it’s at daycare drop-off or pick-up where everyone just has tunnel vision.
“And I think it’s hard to make friends when you’re feeling vulnerable.”
Gawlik, a mother of four young children herself, highlighted the knock-on negative impacts of loneliness.
She said: “Loneliness has been shown to affect both your physical and mental health.
“So anything from cardiovascular disease to depression, anxiety, cognitive decline, even your immune system can be affected when you’re lonely.
“In fact, one study showed if you are in social isolation for a prolonged amount of time, it’s equivalent to smoking about 15 cigarettes a day.”
Gawlik has designed a six-week parenting program to bring parents together to be vulnerable, commiserate about challenges they face and find support.
The program helped Anne realize she wasn’t alone.
She said: “I think the biggest thing is she validated that if you’re working and you have children and you’re a conscientious parent, it would be wild if you weren’t burned out.
“So I felt very validated when she said, ‘It’s okay that you’re here.’”
Gawlik also stressed the need for “self-care” and the value of connection.
She said: “To have somebody that you can relate to and that feeling of connection that somebody else is dealing with what you are dealing with can be so powerful when it comes to combating feelings of loneliness.”
Anne said: “I think it equips us to create better futures for our children; I think it makes us healthier.
“I think that the ripple effect from connecting with other parents and getting support when you need it is immeasurable.
“It makes you a better employee. It makes you a better spouse, parent, friend.
“I think that it just enriches our lives – just like parenting does, but it just makes you level up.”
Gawlik recommends moms and dads conduct an online search for parent groups in the local community.
She added: “Parenting can feel very lonely at times, but it will be easier if you have people around who can support you.
“It can be hard to start seeking out connections because, to some degree, you will have to be vulnerable and, sometimes, it will take time and effort.
“But just take the first step.”
